Artist's Process Part Two

Privacy is enough, quiet besides bubbling of my aquarium.

I don’t want to suffocate my fish,

I don’t want the poor guy has to deal with me remembering I am real.

This means the best most picky circumstances I can compassionately set up,

Is right, I have the support I need.

Troi watching me enter a process

to arrive back to nature where he already is.

I watch my fish swim, appreciating movements arising from pure intent,

The natural effortless goodness, wholeness,

Acceptance of vulnerability.

Incense, a trampoline at the head of a broad supportive mat.

I may feel like dancing, sweating once I feel like myself.

Then I may want to paint, from having, inspiration!

I want my space for mystery to be. I only need me.

I know how it is when I feel safe, energy moving.

All the most delightful mysteries helped me feel me.

So there is nothing lacking, it is here.

Me, time, space. Visual occurrence; paintings.

Visceral body muscle central memory.

I am not ready for pure wholeness. I need to move to shake fear loose,

Affirm, celebrate because this is my nature.

I am not in physical form to not be in physical form.

I am responsible for this experience. Then stillness is easy.

Paradoxically starting with a complete stop.

These are the safeties built into awareness.

Otherwise, who will manage, and what will be intended.

And why carry a burden and build it over others.

The mind must be ready to leave the silly ancient human struggles.

Independence comes first. I stop.

Starting with a gradation, then complete stop.

So grateful, a deep breath. Listening,

Feeling my self buzz, process, sort, contemplate, inform.

Resolve, and with more than willingness,

A knowing there is no further and so instantly transcending need,

Almost enthusiasm, almost because when I arrive,

There is never any more projection.

This is the way. Here is this.